ONE WEEK!!!

Ahh I can't believe surgery is next Saturday!!!

I have continued to obsessively read blogs and websites about surgery in an effort to prepare myself as much as you can prepare yourself for your face to be sawed up.
Reading about most experiences makes me feel sort of calm and excited about the surgery. It's so awesome to read about how happy everyone is after their surgery. It's a long, slow process to get there, but I have not heard of one person who feels like they regret their surgery. And I don't think I want to hear about that person anyway.

One thing I keep reading is this surgery is the ultimate test of patience. Patience for me is in short supply, but I guess I better get some.

Right now I am on the cliche roller coaster ride of emotions.
In fact, I feel like this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3433610628109387525#

One minute I'm thining "YES, I can't wait to chew and bite into stuff and BREATHE!" Then the next moment I literally feel sick from the anxiety. Then sometimes all I really want to do is cry because I am so scared.

Come to think of it, it's really not the pain that scares me. Of course I am worried about how I will feel, because everyone hates the unknown, but I can handle a couple of days of misery.

But, what absolutely terrifies me is how the people I care about are going to react. Everyone knows I am going to look a little different after I'm healed. But I'm scared my friends or boyfriend will be like "This isn't Whitney." and freak out and not talk to me and run away or something. Or what if I look in the mirror and think "WTF IS THIS?"
I know the people I love all love me endlessly and see nothing wrong with how I am now (at least with my face haha). Especially Aid. So I pray that doesn't change when I am new and improved!

I'm going to spend this next week finally completing my last final at school, going to my last pre-op appointments with the surgeon and orthodontist, going to the grocery store to stock up on Carnation, Ensure and lots of things that can be halfway appetizing after being annihilated by the blender and enjoying glorious solid FOOD from all my favorite places!

My pre-op diet of eating everything that isn't nailed down is going very well!