Day Thirteen/New Year's Eve

Today was a lazy day with Aid. This morning I made us pancakes and eggs and they were pretty good and easy to eat! Definitely better than dumb Ensure. I did have this moment today where I just felt so ugly and frustrated with how I look. I'm just scared I won't be happy, all I want is to be happy. My doctor said that 80% of my swelling would be gone around this time, and I just can't believe this is 80% gone, because I feel huge. But I got over it pretty fast today.
Later, before going out, we went to see "Little Fockers," so there was more laughing! But like I said yesterday, it didn't seem to hurt as much anymore. Then we met up with friends and went to a bar that had this awesomee rock band playing. They're called RATL and they play a lot of classic rock, and some 90's and Today. It's very apparent that I grew up in the wrong generation, because when you get me around some Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Def Leppard etc, I absolutely go crazy! I LOVE that music and dance and play my air guitar uncontrollably. "Freebird" really gets me in rare form. Everyone seemed to have such a great time, including me! I did get really tired, and did a LOT of talking and yelling, so by the end of the night my jaw was hurting just a little. I have to say, although I have mastered drinking from a cup again, drinking alcohol is just weird...especially out of a beer bottle and champagne flute. But I didn't drink a lot. And, being the exceptional ortho patient I am, I remembered to rinse my mouth and brushed my teeth at 2 AM before bed.
Here's a funny picture from around that time:

That's the syringe I use for rinsing my mouth. We had just gotten back in and Aid and his boys were acting like fools in the kitchen so I ran in there with it full of Peridex and they thought I had a huge needle haha it was so funny watching them run away and freak out.

Now for some mugshots:
I think my swelling has gone down more on the right side, and is much more obvious on the left:

My funny little smile. At least a little more tooth is showing.

Day Twelve

I was feeling a little bit better today and not in such a grumpy mood. I spent most of the day resting....more.

My swelling went down a teeny tiny bit and I rarely have pain, but my numbness hasn't changed. The left half of my upper lip is numb, as well as the right half of my lower lip. Also, to the left of my nose on my cheek, the roof of my mouth and my chin in random spots. Lately my chin has been tingling constantly. I'm glad the nerves are already "waking up!" I'm still doing my lip "exercises" three times a day, and I can tell they've worked and my lips move more.

Tonight my boyfriend came over and my mom made us the best dinner ever. They ate steak that made my mouth water. But my mom made me grilled Tilapia, a baked potato, and I ate some of the sauteed mushrooms for their steaks and it was all delicious! Took me forever to eat it, but it was really good.
It still hurts sooo bad to smile and laugh, especially when I laugh really hard. My boyfriend is the funniest person in the world, and keeps me laughing and then saying "OW MY MOUTH!" and then laughing more. Actually I think I tore some of my stitches tonight or something, because this one time my mouth hurt worse than usual when I was laughing, and kept hurting for a few minutes. But now my smile is bigger and doesn't hurt so much when I laugh, so maybe some of them got pulled out or something.
After that I rinsed the 30 pounds of food stuck in my mouth.

Day Eleven

I definitely had no problems sleeping last night after so much walking yesterday. I did wake up a couple of times, I think because my jaw hurts for a second or feels weird or something but I go right back to sleep. I didn't even need any ibuprofen this morning! Usually I need something but not today!
But today was a crappy day. Not because of pain or anything, I'm just not happy. They said to expect a day or two of "the blues" and I guess that's what today was. This post will probably turn into a lot of complaining but I have reasons to complain and if you don't like that then you don't have to read this.
I'm just really fed up with everything and getting impatient. I was so happy to be allowed to eat soft foods but it's pointless. Food isn't even good when you have to mush it up and just kind of half ass chew it and squish it against the roof of your mouth with your tongue and swallow. And it takes an hour to eat anything. By the time I'm done, I'm hungry again. Then I go rinse my mouth and have enough food fall out that could be a meal for a toddler. No kidding, So much gets stuck in..everything.
I'm also sick of not talking. I love talking and I have a lot to say all the time. But now I don't even feel like it. It's easier to just not say anything.
And now to my face... I feel like the swelling will never go away and I am so sick of seeing this round stupid fat face looking back at me in the mirror.
And I'm sick of sitting my ass on the couch watching this dumb tv. All semester when I was doing homework for hours and hours a day I would think about how awesome it would be just to sit on the couch and watch a bad reality show. NO. I have had enough of that.

I am thankful to have the nausea, pain, stuffy nose, liquid diet misery over, but now it's a waiting game. I have many weeks of numbness and swelling and awkwardness and hunger pangs ahead of me and I am not a patient person at all. I just desperately want to get back to my regular normal life and laugh and eat and talk without all the extra exhausting work to do so. I am definitely not at the "this was the best decision of my life and I'd definitely do it again" point right now.

Day Ten

Today was a fun day because I had the opportunity to get out of the house!
I spent the whole morning/early afternoon getting myself ready. I feel like a baby because it takes hours to get me ready to go anywhere. I get up and eat Ensure (is it sad that it doesn't taste that bad anymore?) take ibuprofen, clean my mouth and chill on the couch for a little bit. Then I take a shower and try to do something with my pumpkin face and do my hair and get dressed. By this time I'm hungry again so I spend forever trying to eat and then clean my mouth again. By this time, my friend Aida (a different one than mentioned last week(: ) and her boyfriend Ray were here. We played around here for a little bit then headed downtown to the aquarium!! I had never been before but have wanted to for years. What an amazing place! We got to pet sting rays, a shark, starfish and shrimp and saw SO MUCH. I had no idea it was so big and it's so peaceful to watch everything. I also think it's so cool my dad ran all the water lines for those fish to be happy and swim in their water. I also figured out that the aquarium on a crowded day is good birth control. I have never heard so many bratty screaming kids in my life. These kids are watching cute penguins swim around, and otters play, and hundreds of fish swimming above and around them and all they want to do is fucking cry and scream? Their parents are doing everything they can to spend the day with their kid and spend all this money to make them happy and they have to act like that. Ugh..kids. Shut up.
Okay, anyway, it is really an amazing place and I want to go back when they are finished with the dolphin exhibit in 2011. After that, we met 2 of Ray's friends at The Vortex in Little Five Points. I had a good time, but felt really rude for not socializing very much with our company. I have just gotten to the point now where it's so difficult to talk I just don't even bother half the time when I have something to say.
We had an appetizer of cheese ball popper things, which we thought would be soft. No. But Aida is the sweetest person in the world and sat there and cut off all the batter in little pieces so I could eat just the cheese on the inside haha Isn't she awesome?
I looked over the menu and found basically the only thing I could eat, which was chili, so that's what I got. All the burgers looked SO AMAZING. Ugh torture. Burgers and fries are my favoriteeee. But my chili was good, just really thick and had a lot of stuff in it so it was harder to eat than I thought it would be. I also managed to eat a couple of Aida's fries...the soggy mushy ones. I gave up after a while though.
I didn't feel tired for most of the day, but when I got home it really hit me. But we did do a lot of walking today.

I laughed a lot with Aida and Ray and I swear it made my smile a little bigger, but it hurts so bad to laugh. My mouth starts to smile and all my stitches snatch it back and say "I DON'T THINK SOOO." But I try to anyway. Laughing is my favorite.

I should have taken a picture today, but I forgot. But the following picture accurately depicts my face shape and my smile:

Day Nine

I had trouble sleeping last night, so I didn't fall asleep until almost 3. I still wasn't feeling any pain so I didn't take an ibuprofen before bed for the first time. I woke up at 7:30 because my jaw was hurting pretty bad. I took the 800mg ibuprofen and fell asleep until 10:30, so I got a decent amount of sleep.
I ate my morning Ensure with my handy syringe and just hung out on the couch for a while. After that, I showered and got dressed to go to the doctor.
The surgeon said everything looks great still! And I got an A+ for cleaning! So that's a relief because an infection would not be fun!
But he did say that my muscle on my left has been cramping and has changed my bite a little on that side. That's interesting, because yesterday you may remember me mentioning the cramping I was feeling. He said it's not a big deal and knows it's the muscle that changed it because when I was asleep in surgery, my bite was perfect. I just need to wear a few rubber bands to fix it. They're super tight. I have two on the left. One goes on my top molar and connects to the bottom molar. The second one goes on my top canine and connects to the tooth below it, then goes across to the next tooth to make a triangle. On the right I have one on my canine down to the tooth below just to feel balanced. I leave them in all the time, except when I eat and brush and rinse.
He also gave me exercises to do! Morning, noon and night I have to make 10 fish faces, then 10 big smiles, then 10 fish faces and so on. I do 10 sets of 10 reps. So, 300 per day haha. I went ahead and did 100 tonight and they feel so weird! But I want my lips to work ASAP.
Now, for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
I CAN EAT SOFT FOODS!!!! "Anything you can cut with the side of a fork!"
So my mom made spaghetti and meatballs tonight and it was quite possibly the best thing I have ever tasted! I ate three plates haha But it took quite a while. I don't really chew it much...just cut it up in little pieces and swallow it. But wow, it tasted marvelous and was much more filling than stupid soup.

I'm already thinking about what I can eat tomorrow. Is that pathetic? I don't care.

I can already imagine the day I can go to Frontera and eat my usual 3 bowls of salsa and crunch crunch crunch away at chips! Okay, that's a long way off, but a girl can dream.

He also said I can sleep on my side! Yay!

You may remember in my first post I said I would be on an all liquid diet for 4 weeks, then soft food, and you may be thinking "Whitney, you idiot it's only been 9 days!" I didn't mention in my blog yet that I went through this annoying ordeal with doctors. Basically I went to the same oral surgeon for years, in preparation of this, and then one day a couple of weeks before surgery they call and say "Hiiii hope you're doing good, okay great, we need like $17,000!! k, great, byeee!" Turns out, they were no longer in our insurance company's network and didn't bother to mention that little detail. At the very last minute my mom had to find a new OS for me and that's how we found this amazing doctor that did my surgery. I threw a total fit (who, me?) over changing doctors, mainly because I was scared, but then one day I thought this might be happening for a reason, even though it was not ideal and very inconvenient and I should go with it. I am so glad we did have to switch doctors, because from what I have figured out in the differences in opinion I've heard from each doctor, I would look like Edward Scissorhands right now had I have stayed with that other guy. The previous doctor also told me I would be on an all liquid diet for 4 weeks....really? I would die.

Since my pain is prevalent in the morning after waking up, I think I'll just start taking OTC ibuprofen now, and start off with 2. If that doesn't relieve whatever I feel, I'll work my way up. I just don't think I need 800 mg of ibuprofen anymore at one time. In fact, I haven't felt any pain today except for this morning.

There doesn't seem to be much change in my swelling today, and the doctor said I still have a long way to go. My face is just SUPER round and fat looking. I did notice that my smile is a teeny bit bigger today, but still no teeth.
I'm ready for New Year's so I can go do something fun and have a reason for a black dress!

Day Eight

Today was just a lazy Sunday spent watching Titanic and Forrest Gump haha.
I slept through the night last night! Actually I slept like 11 hours :) I was soo tired and I've actually been pretty tired today too. I think all the stuff I did Friday and Saturday was a lot for my body.

I noticed a few improvements today:

• My jaw opens a little wider every day. I can open it about 15 millimeters today. Doesn't sound like much, but on Wednesday after my rubber bands were taken off, it opened less than half that wide. Now it's easier to use a spoon and brush my teeth. I am using a baby toothbrush because of the small space (it's really chic...red with Monkeys and bananas on it) and just yesterday I couldn't brush the backsides and chewing surfaces of my teeth because I couldn't open enough. But today I can!
• Today my lower lip moves when I talk! Yay! 
• And I can close my lips together! Obviously that takes a conscious effort though. When I'm just sitting "idle" my lips stay open for now. The amount of space they're open decreases every day though.

Only negative things:

• My left jaw muscle feels like it's constantly cramping. It was like that for a little bit this morning after waking up, then it went away, and it's back again tonight
• I'm HUNGRY. :)

I've decided I really like blogging, and apparently, a lot of people are reading it! I'm so glad everyone enjoys it! I would say I want to continue blogging after this experience is over, but my life is so not interesting enough for that. Maybe one day I will be a finance/investing/personal budgeting blogger. That would be cool. If school doesn't kill me before then. But this blog will go on for a while. I still have a long time for recovery and I'll have braces for at least 6-9 more months. I can't wait for the last post that shows all my before and after pictures and no braces!
Blogger, the host of my blog, has a Stats feature....My blog has been read by people in 10 countries! How crazy is that? And how did they find my blog? haha

Quick picture chillin on the couch with my phone because I'm feeling lazy:

My lips are not shiny with lip gloss to get all glamorous for you guys. I keep vaseline slathered on them at all times because they are dryer than the Sahara and chap stick does not cut it.
Also, you can see the skin on my chin is very irritated from that bandage I had on a couple of days. It's taking a long time to heal but it looks better today. It's the least of my worries though.

Tomorrow I go to the oral surgeon again for a check up! I hope I've been cleaning my mouth well and he can tell me everything looks great again! Three-four times a day, I rinse my mouth with water through a syringe, then brush my teeth, then rinse my mouth with water in the syringe again, then rinse my mouth with Peridex in the syringe. It better be clean!

One Week!/Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!
It's been ONE WEEK since my surgery! What a milestone!!
I have to be honest, this has been one hell of a hard week, but I have survived! And hopefully have the worst done and over with! On Monday or Tuesday I swore I would never see this day, but here I am! Thank you Mom for all your help this week! I really don't know what I would have done without you.

Today was Christmas Day, so I spent the whole day with my family and it was perfect! To top is off, we had a white Christmas in Georgia! Wow!
I'd like to give a special thanks to my sweet boyfriend for sitting at the table with me on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for at least an extra 20 minutes after he was done eating just because me and my jaw are slow pokes. And thanks for listening to all my mumbling and mispronouncing of letters and words (B's are especially rough!) and that nice slurp sound I make with my drool every few minutes haha

Today was a lot of activity and a lot of talking, so my muscles got tired pretty easily and hurt a little through the day. But my speech is improving a little every day. I still sound like a retarded baby though.

I'm also happy to report that I will be taking my last antibiotic tomorrow! So no more medicine three times a day! I'll just have pain medicine to take when I need it now.

I was still awake at 4:30 AM because I am having so much trouble sleeping! So unlike me! I guess I spend so much time lying around resting and not exerting much energy so I'm just not that tired. Plus, my muscles hurt a little at night and I am sickkkkk of laying on my back! Hopefully I won't have to do that much longer!

Pictures from today:

That's as big as my smile can get right now with my swelling. Soon you'll see some teef!

Day Six!

Today was a great day!
My friend Aida came over to visit me and we watched like five episodes of True Life and talked about how stupid the people were. She also blow dried my hair for me because that is lots of work! It made me feel and look a lot better. Later, she went to Wendy's and came back with my favorite food in the whole world...french fries! I couldn't eat them of course, they were hers. But she did get me chili and I threw it in the blender and ate it through a SPOON! A spoon! Wow! Improvement already! It's a total mess, but so nice to not use a syringe for everything. However, I do still use the syringe for really watery stuff, just cause it's easier.

After that I went to my grandpa's house to visit and then had Christmas Eve dinner with my mom and my boyfriend. Mine was squished and mashed up and watered down. But still good! Aid told me my swelling makes me look like those guys from White Chicks that dress as girls. This is what he means:

 

I kinda see it haha but all my swelling doesn't allow me to show any teeth when I smile yet.

I am constantly feeling all this tingling in my chin and cheeks. It's a great sign that the nerves are "waking up." But I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping. I was up last night until nearly three, and that was after I finally gave up and took Lortab. My jaw muscles were aching really bad and I just had to take something. After that I woke up several times because my jaw and brain are having trouble communicating and every hour or so one of them is like "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" and wakes me up. My jaw gets lost and hangs open or feels like it's falling over. We're still getting used to each other!

I have to tell you all about this amazing realization I had at dinner tonight! Before surgery, my entire life I was always tired because of my lack of breathing during sleep. If I slept 4 hours, 8 hours, or 10 hours, I was still tired. Now, I'm sleeping an average of 6 or 7, and I'm not tired. I'M NOT TIRED. Even though I am recovering from a four hour surgery of taking my face apart, I am still NOT TIRED!!! This makes me so happy! It can only get better!

Today I put on a little make up and as I said before, Aida helped me do something with my hair. So I'm not quite the hot mess I was the other day:

Day Five

Today was just another day of being a couch potato resting and trying to keep my tummy full with liquid. I've lost 8+ pounds. This sounds like a lot, but I'm not surprised. I ate total garbage all day every day before this and honestly would not be surprised if I ate at least 4000+ calories a day. Now I definitely don't get a lot of fat or anywhere close to the normal amount of calories, so I figured I would lose weight fast. I'll take care of that when this jaw gets in tip top shape! I can't imagine how awesome real food must taste right now. Today I had a craving for my weakness...french fries! Ahh. Oh well.

I got a little bored today. I can't find a good movie I feel like paying attention to, so I just watch old episodes of Teen Mom and Keeping Up With the Kardashians on demand. Those definitely don't require much of an attention span.

I had trouble sleeping last night because I kept waking up to my jaw "slipping" and feeling locked out of placed. It was weird and hurt kinda bad. Plus my body is just sick of sleeping only on my back. Hopefully tonight my lower jaw can find where it's supposed to go and I can find a comfy position.

I'm still really numb and can't expect that to be better until a month to 6 months. Gotta have patience! But that's why it's so hard to eat and talk. The strangest sensation is when I can feel an itch on my cheek, but when I scratch it I feel nothing except that the itch goes away. I don't actually feel the scratch haha

I'm excited for tomorrow because it's Christmas Eve! I think I'll actually wear real clothes tomorrow and try to do my hair and make up a little bit. I think Aida is coming to visit and later I'll get to spend time with some of my family and finally Aid! Christmas Eve dinner obviously won't be the same,, but I'll make the best of it with my syringe and blender.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Day Four

Today I got to go to the oral surgeon! My whole day basically revolved around it. I had to make sure I had eaten, was presentable, had all my medicine taken, and rinsed my mouth a million times. All that stuff takes like an entire day.
The surgeon was SO happy with surgery and said it went even better than he could have expected. He was also impressed I only lost 260 cc's of blood. Whatever that means. He cleaned my mouth really well, looked in my nose and pulled out a HUGE blood clot booger (sorry) and I could breathe! He also took out the rubber bands and did x rays. He kept going on and on about how great surgery was, so that is wonderful!!!! Hey, by the way, my teeth FIT TOGETHER. What a miracle! I also got the chin bandage taken off and caught myself doing a double take in the mirror because my profile already looks good! Even though my head is the size of texas. He said I just need to hang in there and in two weeks I will feel incredible! Can't wait! I have to go back Monday for another check up. He moved me to soft soupy foods also!

I was really happy after leaving the surgeon, but a little bit later at home I got kind of emotional. I think it was a combo of adjusting to the new feeling of my mouth, the fact I had trouble eating with a spoon because of my numbness, I still can't talk well, I miss everyone, and just watching tv makes me realize how much I can't do. I watch everyone smile and think about how I can't wait to be able to talk, smile, laugh, scream, cry, kiss, LICK MY LIPS. Everything. I am someone that tries really hard not to take things for granted, but I guess there are some things that still get overlooked. I just can't wait to get back to my normal routine, and I think tonight was just the time it all set in that it's gonna be different for a while. I was okay though, my mom and Aid made me feel a lot better.

Here's a picture I took after getting home from the OS.

I see improvement!

Day Three

Last night was so bad!
Right before bed I decided to take a shower and thought I'd feel better. No. I guess all of the movement after being so sedentary for a long time, and taking so much medicine several times a day. all caught up at one time and I got really sick. I sat in the recliner shaking and going from hot to cold and panicking about feeling so nauseous and how I could throw up. Plus I had just taken Lortab and I think it made me kind of...weird. I was just really scared and had never experienced anything like that before and was begging my mom to take me to the hospital, and telling her something was wrong, and said I felt like I'd rather die than live through this. She knew I was okay, just really sick from so much medicine and being so weak so she sat with me for hours just telling me I'd be okay and to calm down. A couple of times I got really hard to handle. I didn't mean to, I was just terrified and not in the right state of mind. Finally after three hours I projectile vomited everywhere and then continued throwing up and dry heaving a few more times until like 5 AM. It is so scary knowing you can't open your mouth at all, both of your jaws and chin are broken in like 10 places, everything in your body is about to come flying out of your mouth at 100 MPH and you can't do a thing about it. This has been so much for my mom, I don't know what I would do without her.


So, all day today I was terrified of the thought of getting nauseous again and since then I have avoided Lortab at all costs and try to just get by with the Ibuprofen. Most of the time it works fine, and the pain hasn't been unbearable. But I can definitely tell when it's time to take more. Also, my mom had to work today, so my dad came to stay with me. Dad's are so great, but they aren't Mommy's and I have really needed my Mommy this week.

I don't think anything else significant happened today.

Day Two

This day started out good. Just woke up, choked my medicine down, and slept and watched tv.

The hardest part of today was not being able to breathe through my nose or do anything with it, because I can't blow it for two weeks.

Later, Caroline came to visit me and she was really patient with my strange way of speaking and I enjoyed having her here!

I ate a lot of broccoli cheese soup through the blender, blended and strained chicken noodle soup and REALLY watered down mashed potatoes.

This is me! Not much brusing, but looking pretty sleepy and quite festive in front of the Christmas tree. The bandage on my chin comes off on Wednesday when I go see the OS. It is itchyyy!

Day One

Today I woke up at the hospital and was happy to be going home! I got home around noon I think. I had this moment where I panicked about not being able to breathe through my nose and was upset I couldn't take my pain medicine because it was so big and my teeth were held together by really tight rubber bands. So all the changes and the pain and all the medicine I had been given at the hospital caught up with me and I was definitely a handful for my mom for a little bit.
We finally had to crush all my medicines, dilute them with water and suck them up with a syringe. GROSS.
Lortab and Ibuprofen literally feel like they burn my mouth and throat away and the antibiotic tastes like nail polish remover smells. I found out later that chocolate Ensure covers up the taste okay. So I guess two awful tastes cancel out each other!

Most of this day is kinda fuzzy to me too I guess because of all the pain medicine and I was SO drowsy all day. I slept a lot, watched a lot of tv and just tried to get used to everything.

My face was the size of a pumpkin, by the way.

Day of Surgery!

Today the day had finally come! I got up at 4:45 and got in some more comfy clothes, brushed my teeth, and said goodbye to my bad teef! My mom and I drove to Northside and I still wasn't even nervous. We went to the admissions office and a lady had me sign some papers. There were three other patients in there waiting to do the same thing, one being this creepy old guy with orange hair who would not stop staring at me. Finally we went to another room and another lady walked us back to the pre op area. We waited in my little curtain room for this total bitch to come in and put my IV in. Okay, I made it kind of hard for her because I FREAK OUT about IVs and blood pressure. I mean really, freak out. Something about the constricting of my veins and then feeling my pulse and then feeling my blood rush through terrifies me. UGH. I can't even stand tight socks. I know, what a weirdo. Well, anyway, I started hyperventilating when she tied the tourniquet and it was so bad she had to just leave me there "and go take care of the other patient who is actually ready!!" Then the anesthesiologist came in and asked questions and we told him about when I was young and had surgery and when I had my wisdom teeth removed I woke up a psycho. I usually wake up in an absolute rage and say really mean stuff and am totally out of control. The anesthesiologist didn't even look surprised. He just said "Oh yeah, cause she has red hair." We laughed and he said, "No, really. There are studies." I think this is so funny. I just love red heads. I think it's amazing we are so unique all because of our hair. My temper definitely matches my hair color. Hey, by the way, red heads need an average of 20% more anesthesia than the average person.
In a few minutes that bitch came back in and I finally just sucked it up and got my IV so I wouldn't have to see her anymore. Then my dad got there and my doctor came in and talked a few minutes and met a few assistants. Then someone put medicine in my IV that made me high as a kite so I just sat there and laughed for five minutes. At nothing. haha. Then things get a little fuzzy. I guess just a few minutes later was when I said bye to my parents and they wheeled me to the OR. I can barely picture the room, with little detail, and just remember they helped me move onto another bed. Then I think someone might have asked me about school? I'm not really sure, but I know I was done before I could even answer.


After what felt like 5 minutes, I heard my name and opened my eyes and saw this super nice lady trying to wake me up. I looked around and saw some other beds of people waking up and I guess for an hour or so I just drifted in and out. I remember the lady kept telling me to breathe in and out deep and the medicine would wear off faster, so I did. I could not believe I was behaving like a normal person!!! What a miracle! I just knew I would be impossible to deal with, because I usually am, but I just laid there. I didn't feel any pain at all and I am sure that was helpful at keeping me under control as well.

At some point they took me to my room and I just spent the rest of the day chillin slurping up chicken broth in my syringe. This day was just too easy, I should have known it wasn't going to stay that way. The only bad parts of the day was when they had to give me stuff in my IV and I was sooo uncomfortable because all the medicine hurt going in, because I know that first lady did something wrong putting it in. They wanted me to get a new IV but I did not even want to go there. I had the nicest nurses during the day and night and had no pain at all and was feeling good. My mom stayed with me the whole time and Aid came to visit after work and brought me some flowers!

This is me right before surgery:

Cute, right?


This is me after surgery:

I don't know why I look like I'm in pain, because I wasn't. And I wasn't bleeding, I think that was just dried blood from my mouth earlier.

These pictures are humbling and there are many more to follow.

Last update before surgery!

This week I was finishing up school and getting last minute things done for Saturday!

Monday afternoon my mom and I went to the surgeon for my last pre-op appointment. I went in there feeling like I was going to throw up from the anxiety, but I left in the best mood ever! While we were sitting in the waiting room, a lady came in and overheard us talking about surgery. She spoke up and said she just had upper and lower jaw surgery (like mine) 16 days ago. That woman looked exceptional! I could not believe how great she looked, and couldn't stop telling her. The poor lady was in a bad car accident and both of her jaws were shattered and caused her to be disfigured, but my doctor did an amazing job with her! She said she usually bruises very easily, but had no bruises from him at all. When the assistant called my name, the last thing she told me was "Don't read things online, those people will make you think you're going to die." She must have known exactly what I'd been up to!

When we got in the room, the assistant gave me 8 prescriptions!

• 800 MG Ibuprofen
• Lortab
• Amoxicillin
• Something complicated sounding for nausea
• 2 ginormous bottles of Peridex (an antibiotic mouth rinse)
• 3 different decongestants. (Two are nose sprays and one is a pill)

That's quite a cocktail of medications. I feel like an old person because I NEVER take medicine. My liver and kidneys are already saying "fuck you" for the overtime.

Then I signed my initials and name about 200 times on release forms. I had to initial next to every single thing that could possibly go wrong. I know they legally have to tell you these things because they are not guaranteed impossible,even though they aren't likely. But some of them freaked me out. Oh, and one of them said something about if tissues or parts of my body are removed, they can use them for scientific studies and education haha

Then the doctor came in and I asked him about 4 million questions. Finally he was like "Don't read stuff online!!" HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW? Haha He said a lot of surgeons do things differently than he does and he finds a lot of things to be completely unnecessary. He answered all of my questions honestly and made me feel 150% better. I have a lot of confidence in him and he almost made me...should I say it? Excited. Actually, I have not had one negative thought about this surgery at all this week! But I know on Saturday morning I'll be a crazy nervous wreck...they're gonna have to load me up on quaaludes or somethin.

Today my mom and I went to the orthodontist to get my surgical hooks on. Sounds cool, except not really. I planned to put a picture of them here, but in the picture you can't really see them. They're just little tiny metal things. On my lower teeth they poke down, and on my upper teeth they obviously poke up. Apparently I already had six in my mouth since March and had no clue, so the four they added aren't a big deal. But getting them put on? Man, what a pain in the ass. The ortho assistant was brand new and was sooo awkward. She dropped the little stupid things in the back of my throat, in my mouth, down my shirt, down on her lap, in my hair, everywhere. Then she got my hair all caught in them when she was attaching them, her fingers got in the way and were everywhere and it was just a mess. She's gotta learn somehow though.
When I left the office, all the nice ladies wished me luck and said I would love how everything turns out! :)

Now, that's all that needs to be done! Going to enjoy my last day tomorrow as a free woman and have The Last Supper with Aid. Saturday morning I will have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM (I'm a super nice girl that early, by the way) and then at 7:30, there's no turning back!

A disgusting amount of Entourage and Chappelle's Show DVDs to get me through the first few days? Check.
$60 worth of delicious liquids I bought at the grocery store Monday? Check.
An awesome mommy that's gonna put up with all of my bitching and whining and yelling? Check.Ready!

I'll update as soon as I feel like it, with a very humbling post op picture!

I need lots of good luck and prayers! Love you all!

ONE WEEK!!!

Ahh I can't believe surgery is next Saturday!!!

I have continued to obsessively read blogs and websites about surgery in an effort to prepare myself as much as you can prepare yourself for your face to be sawed up.
Reading about most experiences makes me feel sort of calm and excited about the surgery. It's so awesome to read about how happy everyone is after their surgery. It's a long, slow process to get there, but I have not heard of one person who feels like they regret their surgery. And I don't think I want to hear about that person anyway.

One thing I keep reading is this surgery is the ultimate test of patience. Patience for me is in short supply, but I guess I better get some.

Right now I am on the cliche roller coaster ride of emotions.
In fact, I feel like this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3433610628109387525#

One minute I'm thining "YES, I can't wait to chew and bite into stuff and BREATHE!" Then the next moment I literally feel sick from the anxiety. Then sometimes all I really want to do is cry because I am so scared.

Come to think of it, it's really not the pain that scares me. Of course I am worried about how I will feel, because everyone hates the unknown, but I can handle a couple of days of misery.

But, what absolutely terrifies me is how the people I care about are going to react. Everyone knows I am going to look a little different after I'm healed. But I'm scared my friends or boyfriend will be like "This isn't Whitney." and freak out and not talk to me and run away or something. Or what if I look in the mirror and think "WTF IS THIS?"
I know the people I love all love me endlessly and see nothing wrong with how I am now (at least with my face haha). Especially Aid. So I pray that doesn't change when I am new and improved!

I'm going to spend this next week finally completing my last final at school, going to my last pre-op appointments with the surgeon and orthodontist, going to the grocery store to stock up on Carnation, Ensure and lots of things that can be halfway appetizing after being annihilated by the blender and enjoying glorious solid FOOD from all my favorite places!

My pre-op diet of eating everything that isn't nailed down is going very well!

What Orthognathic Surgery Actually Is, and Why I Need It.

You can ask anyone that has ever been close to me...I am definitely a unique person. Sometimes in a fabulous way and sometimes in a not so great way haha

But really, I am:
- one member of the 11% of the world population that has been adopted.
- one member of the 10% of the world  population that is left handed.
- one member of the 1-2% of the world population with red hair.
And now, one member of the 5% of the world population who needs Orthognathic Surgery.

I would say that combination is pretty rare!

Orthognathic surgery is the medical term for jaw surgery. Each case is different. Some people may have a protruding chin, others a recessed one. Some may have a large upper jaw, which creates a "gummy" smile and some may have a small lower jaw with a weak looking chin. Some people have even built fame around their unique jaw appearance, like Jay Leno! I'm not one of those people, unfortunately.

In my case, I have a small lower jaw and it has also caused a weak chin. Basically my jaw never grew forward. All of this causes several medical problems. For example, even after enduring braces three times (yes, three) only my back molars fit together because my jaw position gives me an "open bite." I have no idea what it is like to actually bite into a sandwich and have my teeth fit together and break off a clean bite of food. The only way to fix my bite and have my teeth properly come together is to bring the jaw forward.
Another issue with my jaw position is breathing. In fact, my airway is half the size it is actually supposed to be! This causes snoring, sleep apnea and just a general crappy feeling all the time. My lack of quality sleep makes me feel tired constantly and easily irritated. Once I get some good breathing going on I should feel a lot better!
In addition to all of this, I have a deviated septum, a little bit of a gummy smile, and I still have my upper wisdom teeth due to complications when I had my lower wisdom teeth removed.

My Surgeon's To-Do list for December 18th:

• Septoplasty-He's going to "shave" away some of my septum on the left side to straighten it out and improve my nasal breathing. (It's almost completely blocked on the left side)
• Upper Jaw Surgery-Cut upper jaw, bring it up higher and secure it with plates and screws.
• Lower Jaw Surgery-Cut lower jaw on each side, bring it forward and secure it with plates and screws.
• Upper Wisdom Teeth Removal-They are in my sinus cavity and I pray there won't be any resulting complications!
• Genioplasty-My chin will be cut in two places, brought forward and secured with plates

Surgery will require 6 weeks of recovery time, and I will be pretty much back to normal activities. However, a jaw surgery patient is technically "healed" until after about 3 months. And sensitivity in your chin and surrounding area can take up to 6-12 months to return. I'll be on an all liquid diet for 2-4 weeks, and a "things you can cut with the side of a fork" diet for 2 weeks thereafter.

Yeah, it's gonna suck.
But this has been anticipated for about 7 years now and it's time to finally get it done!

I have A LOT of anxiety because of the obvious complications with any surgery. But I am also worried about nerve damage and about a million other things. Not to mention, I really really REALLY enjoy eating. Maybe too much and an all liquid diet is going to be rough, but I'll make the best of it.

12 more days! Actually, 11 because this day is pretty much over. :)

My first blog!

I've never created a blog, but this sort of reminds me of ninth grade when I had a livejournal and my friends and I wrote every dramatic detail about how difficult life was back then. Goodness, maturity is a great thing!

My goal for this blog is to write about my experience with Orthognathic Surgery. Over the past few months I have read countless websites and blogs in order to prepare myself. I've found that blogs written by other orthognathic surgery patients are so beneficial. I hope my blog can help someone else later, after everything is complete!

I also hope this keeps my friends and family up to date about what's happening and how I am healing. I adore talking, but I don't think I will like it very much shortly after surgery.

Also, I hope this keeps me focused on the outcome. It's been really easy to get bogged down with the "what ifs" and anxieties of the unkown and what could go wrong. So I hope this will help me concentrate on the great things to come!